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Lansweeper Alumni

'Is it plugged in?' or 'Try again when sober' are just a few examples of ticket types you don't want your users to see. Let your imagination run wild!
Tip: Ticket types can be added under Configuration/Ticket Content in the Lansweeper Web Console. 


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Engaged Sweeper

Too poor for Lansweeper Help Desk, but wanted to share

Mike Tully (mtully)
City of Milwaukee

Engaged Sweeper
User support? - Hello!
Make an archive of all my files and put it on the mail!
Why are you silent, did not you understand something?
You do not know how to make an archive?
Uh, see!

Alexey Gorbachev

ZAO Firma Avgust

Engaged Sweeper II

Rarest Ticket Type
CNR PRabashan

Engaged Sweeper III

We track the root causes on problems in our Lansweeper helpdesk.
At one point I messaged my manager that "Sometimes SCCM has problems ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and we probably need a new root cause for that.

I got what I asked for.

Engaged Sweeper III

A few years ago, I was on my way into work and only about 30 minutes away from the office when I got a phone call about the CEO having some computer troubles.

I asked what the problem was...

He said I brought my laptop in a bag with a thermos of tea and the tea leak out.

I said, ok no problem I'm on my way in don't turn it on.

He said ok.

15 minutes later I got another call from him saying he tried to dry the laptop out by putting it on top of the radiator, but it was too hot and melted the bottom of the laptop.

I said, ok no problem I'm a few minutes away please just leave it alone and I'll be right there.

He said ok.

At this point I decided it might be a good idea to hit the gas and drove a little faster.

I got to the office about 10 minutes after that and went straight to his office.

Most people would give up on fixing things at this point, but this CEO was very clever and had ample resources at his disposal.

As I walked into his office I found one of the company's shop maintenance guys with tin snips and cutters trying to cut out all the "extra" plastic and metal of the computer.

I was horrified and amazed, because they said he got it to boot... Needless to say first thing I did was backup his computer.

After I got him a spare laptop and copied back all his stuff I decided it was worth a shot to call HP for their "HP accidental damage protection" thinking to myself this would never be replaced.

Not long after I got a hold of a rep from overseas he asked me to send a picture so they could see the damage. I did. They thought I was on hold or mute but nope... I could hear the tech call over his buddy’s and they all had a good laugh at this.

I've attached the picture so I hope you have a good laugh too.

Engaged Sweeper

I actually created this Ticket Type from this particular issue, and have only needed to use it a couple times since then:

deploy user memory because all systems slow

This is not applied for issues where the users are not expected to know what is going on with their computer as part of their daily lives, because I know not everyone is tech savvy, but more for those rare instances of extreme face-palming, head shaking, unnatural lack of ANY technological common sense in a person who uses a computer as part of their daily routine.

Dana A Stowell
McCurtain Memorial Hospital

Lansweeper Employee
Lansweeper Employee
Ticket said " My computer keeps shutting down and won't stay running, It's been happening all day. Please fix it." Come to find out after calling, this is in western Kansas (very windy where 40mph is norm and this day was 60 or so)The director, yes upper management turned in ticket and actually said, Can you help? The whole town is losing electricity and my computer is shutting down? ( I was stunned and laughed to myself) I advised him of the wind and how it works, that if wind is cause there is nothing I can do but call the electric company and they probably will not help. He still said isn't there something you can do I have work to get done? I advised to find a laptop and use that so it will run off the battery.

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